Guest post – Into the Light

Please welcome this guest post by Rachael B.  May her words be an encouragement to you to no longer let fear hold you back from building authentic relationships.  And remember, encourage her by leaving a comment at the end.


Recently I have been pondering Jesus' words from John 3:21:

"Whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God."

At the start of my working career, I participated in one of those get-to-know-you games with my coworkers.  Someone would shout out a random fact and anyone who that was true of would run to the middle of a circle.  One person yelled, "You have a secret that no one knows about."  I'm not sure what surprised me more-the amount of people this was true of, or the fact that women in their 50's and 60's have held on to a secret for so many years.  What a burden!

As I have come into adult-hood, I now understand why we keep things hidden. 

Fear often drives me to put on a mask or cover up something I don't want others to know about.  Honestly, it's pretty easy to put up a front.  As a young mom, I want to look like I have it all together.  When I get together with other moms, it is much easier to talk about our kids, or our outfits, or our lack of sleep.  I feel pressure to conform and to be "good enough"-in comparison with other moms-and so I hide things.  Truthfully? I feel a deep sense of inadequacy.  If I pretend to have it together, I might actually convince myself that I do.  Fake it till you make it? 🙂  Unfortunately, this discourages true friendships and leaves us to carry our burdens alone.

Have you ever been so anxious you felt sick to your stomach at the thought of telling someone something you've been hiding? 

Perhaps you're crumbling inside with the guilt or shame of your secret.  Did you ever share your secret?  Did you overcome your fear, or has it (is it?) overcoming you?

In our heads we tell ourselves that no one has it together; we are all inadequate.  But we know our innermost thoughts, and God can see how truly broken we are. Yes, He sees all the gunk we so desperately try to hide, and we live in fear and darkness.  But what does God say about it?  He doesn't tell us to clean up our act, or go to church more, or read our Bible more, or pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and just do a better job.  No, He gives us Jesus:

Isaiah 42:5-7

"Thus says God, the Lord, who created the heavens and stretched them out, who spread out the earth and what comes from it, who gives breath to the people on itand spirit to those who walk in it: “I am the Lord; I have called you [Jesus] in righteousness; I will take you by the hand and keep you; I will give you as a covenant for the people, a light for the nations, to open the eyes that are blind, to bring out the prisoners from the dungeon, from the prison those who sit in darkness."

 And Jesus himself says in John 12:46:

"I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness."

Are you in a prison? 

Are you in darkness?  Do you need to be freed? 

Jesus can and will free you. 

John 3:17

"For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

God is calling you into His light.

Maybe you already know these truths, and you are still struggling with fear and the guilt of the secrets that you keep.  So what should you do? 

Tell someone. 

Galatians 6:2 says to "bear one another's burdens".  When you allow someone to carry your burden with you, you allow the work of Christ to be done.  We are his body, and when we work together we grow up into what Jesus wants us to be. 

Rachael B.

photo credit: James Whitesmith via photopin cc

Managing the Family Calendar

I have a new love in my life!  And it's okay my hubby knows. And even though he doesn't share my enthusiasm, he's cool with it!

You can check out the details and get your own if you want.  But this one, is all MINE!  hee-hee

I picked one up at a Paper Source.  This is a paper lovers haven.  I'm not too crafty so I pushed past all that rest of the store pretty easily, but this stopped me in my tracks.  I mean look at it.

 

 

Wall Calendar

 

Gorgeous!  It's everything a calenday should be, but up til now, none have compared.  I know, I told you I was smitten.

One thing you should know about me, I love things big!  Hello - I have 7 children.  I drive a 15 passenger van.  I'm 5'9" tall.  I don't do things small.  And my lovely calendar is no exception.  It's about 8' wide and 3.5' high.  H-U-G-E.  

What do I love about it?  I'm glad you asked.

You see all those colored post-it notes?  Each one of those is a reminder for me.  Post-it notes fit perfectly in each square.  (BTW- Post- it notes can be pricey.  I get mine at the .99 cent store- You're welcome)

Pink post-it notes are a deadline

Yellow post--it notes are  "fun"

Blue post-it notes are hubby/children related

 

Here's how I use my calendar.

1. I have an upcoming event- (ex.-my daughter's birthday.)

2. Wirte it on a post-it note

3. Place it on the correct date on the calendar

4. Observe what else might be happening around that time.

5. Count back 3-4 weeks before the brithday to decide how we want to celebrate.  If needed, create a meeting with my hubby (new post-it note) to talk about what we want to give the birthday girl.  Make a note of our ideas in my journal.  And make a special note to include any expenses for our monthly budget.

6. 2 weeks prior make any reservations needed for our family celebration.

DONE!  I then transfer the dates, deadlines, ideas, meetings to my carry in the purse calendar.  (My brand new thing is to enter them on a Google calendar.- we'll see how this works. )

This makes me feel SO empowered.

Far too many times I would feel like events snuck up on me.

I would enter birthdays on my brand new calendar at the beginning of the year.  But I would only look month-to-month.  I would end one month, flip the calendar, and BAM!  Some important event was happening like the next day.  I would have almost zero time to prepare.  I would feel so rushed and panicky.  I absolutely hated that feeling.  I started to dread flipping the calendar each month.

With this calendar, I can see the whole year at a glance AND put things on it.

If you are a visual person, I highly recommend this calendar to you.  

I know it's big.  Maybe you have a hallway that could become your planning center.  Mine is on my bedroom wall.  When I sit on my bed, it helps me to look ahead and see what coming up each week.  It also is a prompt for Ron and I to talk about future plans.

Who knew a calendar could make such a difference?

How about you?  

What tools do you use to keep your family moving in the same direction? 

 

photo credit: the camera is a toy. via photopin cc

Sure Fire Way to Get Your Kids to Do Dreaded Chores

Have anything you want to get done, but your kids dread it?

How about you?  Got some things you know are "good for you", but yet you avoid them like the plague?

The next time you want to get something done and you struggle with motivating yourself or others, try this!

To see the video on YouTube - click HERE

Didn't that look so fun?  And look at the results 66% more people participated because it was fun!

Let's bring the fun theory into the home.

 

Folding socks.

In our home, we have a sock basket.  All socks from the laundry go to the "sock basket" to be sorted, matched, and put away.  Unfortunately, by the time we fold the rest of the laundry, nobody wants to sit and match socks.

To liven things up, I sometimes will declare "Sock War"

Here's how you play.

All of the socks from the "sock basket"" are dumped into a pile in the middle of the floor.

On the count of 3, everyone dives in to find the matches.  As you match your socks, roll them!  The rolled socks become your "ammunition" in the fight.  

You want to see socks get done in a hurry?  Stop calling them socks and call them "ammunition", and change the work from folding laundry to "preparing for battle".  Watch the attitude in the room shift right before your eyes.  This even works with having mostly girls.  A lot of times they are the most competitive ones in the room.

Once all the socks are matched (they have to match or they are disqualified), then each person dives behind couches, chairs. coffee tables, whatever space they can claim, and the socks start flying.  Oh man, you wanna talk about FUN!  

Sisters are pelting their brother in the head.  Brother is screaming and blasting sisters right back.  All the children gang up on momma.  Momma enlists the younger kids to go grab ammunition from siblings.  hahahaha  

We have a great time!

Did the laundry get done? Yes  

Including the socks? Yes

Did we have fun? Absolutely!!!!

Your turn to swtich your dreaded work into treasured memories.

I encourage you, use this in your home.  Watch as some of the most avoided tasks get done quicker than you ever thought possible.

Got any tasks that are not fun, but still need to get done?

What things can you make fun for your children?  

What work can you turn into play?  I can't wait to hear your answers

.

photo credit: reb via photopin cc

BFE’s are NOT your BFF’s

Do you ever find yourself saying things like

"My house is a mess because I have children"

"I can't possibly eat healthier food, I'm always on the go"

"I can't dress cute, I have small children"

Any of these sound familair?  C'mon, it's okay to admit it here.  

I'll definitely raise my hand and say I've said these and SO much more.  I mean afterall, at the time these statements are sincere and they seem SO legit.  But the truth is they don't help us at all.

I will go one step further.  They not only don't help us, they hurt us.  

They help us legitimize our lack of action, or commitment, or discipline.  They are simply BFE's.

Big Fat Excuses

These big fat excuses show up anytime we decide that we want to do something better.  

If we decide that we want to get up earlier.  Within a few days something will happen to throw you off course.   And before you know it, the BFE's will show up.  You'll find yourself saying things like - I tried getting up earlier, it just doesn't work for me."

There was a reason you were trying to get up earlier.  Maybe you wanted to have a quiet time of study before the day started.  Or maybe you wanted to rise and dress before you put on your "mommy hat" for the day.  Or maybe you wanted to get a jump on some project and thought the early morning quiet might be just the time.  

Whatever your reason, don't let your BFE's get in the way

BFE's only show up at 2 times-

Day and night!  No. Seriously.

1. When you're physically tired.

Whether that's from a long hard day, or a short-term illness.  The physical drain is what's key.

2. Or when you're emotionally drained. 

When you've got a lot on your plate.  When you have a ton of decisions to make.  When you feel like you are being pulled in a bunch of different directions all at once and all you want to do is take a nap.- that's the moment I'm talkin' about.

The key to eliminating BFE's and their horrible effects on your life, is to never 'evah  'evah evaluate your success or failure at meeting your goal when you are physically or emotionally drained.  Either of those two times will cause you start making excuses faster than my teenage son can send a text.  And trust me, that's fast!  

The problem is that once you make a BFE, it takes a HUGE amount of effort to overcome it's effects on your motivation.

So if you want to start winning your battles.  If you are ready to be more disciplined.  If you desire to raise your level of commitment, then be on the lookout for BFE's.  And remember, they are NOT your BFF's.

What's one of your most common BFE's?  

What's seems to stop you from upping your level of commitment?

The 5 Love Languages

Do you know your love language?

How about that of your spouse or each of your children?

It's funny how within one family there can be so many differences.  

Who knew that there was more than 1 way to love?!

In our marriage I love to spend time with Ron.  I want to hear all the details of his day.  I want to be with him while he does odd jobs around the house.  However, those things don't cross his mind.  He would much rather DO something for me, not necessarily WITH me. 

Early in our marriage, this used to drive me nuts.  

Ron would come home with a gift.  Flowers.  Chocolate.  A card.  I would get all excited and feel so special.  To me that was just the beginning.  That meant we were going to watch a movie together or go for a walk or something.  For him,  'meh, he was done.  It wasn't that he didn't want to spend time with me, he loves me.  Okay, so he adores me. (And the feelin' is mutual, dah-ling)  But in his mind, the expression of love had been done.

Boy was I excited to learn about the 5 love languages.

We haven't visited this book in ages, and with 7 children in the house, I'm sure we should re-visit this real soon.  However, I wanted to share this resource with you, just in case you hadn't heard of it.  Or maybe you're like us and it's been a long time!  

Determine Your Love Language Online

The love languages test is online.  Use it yourself, for your spouse, or for your children.

Go to 5lovelanguages.com

 

5 love languages

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Armed with this type of insight into your spouse and your children, you can save lots of heartache and misunderstandings.  Many times we simply don't mean to hurt one another, we just see things differently.  Any tools that can help you to "get them", whether that's your spouse or your children, can be a real sanity saver.

So run, don't walk on over to Dr. Gary Chapman's site and give his resource a try.

I think you will find, like I have, that knowing how to speak someone's love language opens up the relationship to grow and flourish like nothing else.  I hope that you find that to be true in your home like I have found it in mine.

I would love to hear from you.

What is your love language?

Watch This Series with Your Family

Have you ever romanticized living in Laura Ingalls Wilder times?

Here's a reality show the whole family can enjoy!

When I was little I used to watch the TV series, "Little House on the Prarie".  I would imagine dressing up in those long dresses, carrying parasols, the whole nine yards.

As a homeschool mom, I have even read the Little House books to my children.  But never have I thought of some of the challenges of their time like they show in this PBS series - "Frontier House" from 2001. They have been uploaded to YouTube, but I have gathered them all in one place for you.

Gather your family.  

Travel back to 1800's with modern families.  They must leave all of the modern conveniences behind, and live just a family would have in the 1800's.  Watch as they learn new skills, face incredible challenges, and come to grip with the reality of hardship.

After each episode,  have a time of discussion.  Ask your children questions.  

Would they want to do this kind of experiment?  Why or why not?

What did they think of some of the families choices and behavior?

There are tons of character traits, both positive and negative, to point out to your kids.- I camped out on that one!  Oiy!

After you watch one, shoot me an email-  Let me know what your thoughts?

 

Here's Episode 1:

 

Here's Episode 2:

Here's Episode 3:

Here's Episode 4:

Here's Episode 5:

Finale- Episode 6:

 

Imagine, even with all of that hardship, many people not only survived, they thrived!  

What stood out to you from this series?