BFE’s are NOT your BFF’s

Do you ever find yourself saying things like

"My house is a mess because I have children"

"I can't possibly eat healthier food, I'm always on the go"

"I can't dress cute, I have small children"

Any of these sound familair?  C'mon, it's okay to admit it here.  

I'll definitely raise my hand and say I've said these and SO much more.  I mean afterall, at the time these statements are sincere and they seem SO legit.  But the truth is they don't help us at all.

I will go one step further.  They not only don't help us, they hurt us.  

They help us legitimize our lack of action, or commitment, or discipline.  They are simply BFE's.

Big Fat Excuses

These big fat excuses show up anytime we decide that we want to do something better.  

If we decide that we want to get up earlier.  Within a few days something will happen to throw you off course.   And before you know it, the BFE's will show up.  You'll find yourself saying things like - I tried getting up earlier, it just doesn't work for me."

There was a reason you were trying to get up earlier.  Maybe you wanted to have a quiet time of study before the day started.  Or maybe you wanted to rise and dress before you put on your "mommy hat" for the day.  Or maybe you wanted to get a jump on some project and thought the early morning quiet might be just the time.  

Whatever your reason, don't let your BFE's get in the way

BFE's only show up at 2 times-

Day and night!  No. Seriously.

1. When you're physically tired.

Whether that's from a long hard day, or a short-term illness.  The physical drain is what's key.

2. Or when you're emotionally drained. 

When you've got a lot on your plate.  When you have a ton of decisions to make.  When you feel like you are being pulled in a bunch of different directions all at once and all you want to do is take a nap.- that's the moment I'm talkin' about.

The key to eliminating BFE's and their horrible effects on your life, is to never 'evah  'evah evaluate your success or failure at meeting your goal when you are physically or emotionally drained.  Either of those two times will cause you start making excuses faster than my teenage son can send a text.  And trust me, that's fast!  

The problem is that once you make a BFE, it takes a HUGE amount of effort to overcome it's effects on your motivation.

So if you want to start winning your battles.  If you are ready to be more disciplined.  If you desire to raise your level of commitment, then be on the lookout for BFE's.  And remember, they are NOT your BFF's.

What's one of your most common BFE's?  

What's seems to stop you from upping your level of commitment?

The 5 Love Languages

Do you know your love language?

How about that of your spouse or each of your children?

It's funny how within one family there can be so many differences.  

Who knew that there was more than 1 way to love?!

In our marriage I love to spend time with Ron.  I want to hear all the details of his day.  I want to be with him while he does odd jobs around the house.  However, those things don't cross his mind.  He would much rather DO something for me, not necessarily WITH me. 

Early in our marriage, this used to drive me nuts.  

Ron would come home with a gift.  Flowers.  Chocolate.  A card.  I would get all excited and feel so special.  To me that was just the beginning.  That meant we were going to watch a movie together or go for a walk or something.  For him,  'meh, he was done.  It wasn't that he didn't want to spend time with me, he loves me.  Okay, so he adores me. (And the feelin' is mutual, dah-ling)  But in his mind, the expression of love had been done.

Boy was I excited to learn about the 5 love languages.

We haven't visited this book in ages, and with 7 children in the house, I'm sure we should re-visit this real soon.  However, I wanted to share this resource with you, just in case you hadn't heard of it.  Or maybe you're like us and it's been a long time!  

Determine Your Love Language Online

The love languages test is online.  Use it yourself, for your spouse, or for your children.

Go to 5lovelanguages.com

 

5 love languages

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Armed with this type of insight into your spouse and your children, you can save lots of heartache and misunderstandings.  Many times we simply don't mean to hurt one another, we just see things differently.  Any tools that can help you to "get them", whether that's your spouse or your children, can be a real sanity saver.

So run, don't walk on over to Dr. Gary Chapman's site and give his resource a try.

I think you will find, like I have, that knowing how to speak someone's love language opens up the relationship to grow and flourish like nothing else.  I hope that you find that to be true in your home like I have found it in mine.

I would love to hear from you.

What is your love language?

Watch This Series with Your Family

Have you ever romanticized living in Laura Ingalls Wilder times?

Here's a reality show the whole family can enjoy!

When I was little I used to watch the TV series, "Little House on the Prarie".  I would imagine dressing up in those long dresses, carrying parasols, the whole nine yards.

As a homeschool mom, I have even read the Little House books to my children.  But never have I thought of some of the challenges of their time like they show in this PBS series - "Frontier House" from 2001. They have been uploaded to YouTube, but I have gathered them all in one place for you.

Gather your family.  

Travel back to 1800's with modern families.  They must leave all of the modern conveniences behind, and live just a family would have in the 1800's.  Watch as they learn new skills, face incredible challenges, and come to grip with the reality of hardship.

After each episode,  have a time of discussion.  Ask your children questions.  

Would they want to do this kind of experiment?  Why or why not?

What did they think of some of the families choices and behavior?

There are tons of character traits, both positive and negative, to point out to your kids.- I camped out on that one!  Oiy!

After you watch one, shoot me an email-  Let me know what your thoughts?

 

Here's Episode 1:

 

Here's Episode 2:

Here's Episode 3:

Here's Episode 4:

Here's Episode 5:

Finale- Episode 6:

 

Imagine, even with all of that hardship, many people not only survived, they thrived!  

What stood out to you from this series?

It might look like a mess, but it’s art in the end!- video

Does your life ever look llike a mess?

Do you ever wonder what good this current problem, challenge, or heartache can ever produce?  


If you're like me, you want to believe God's promises that everything works together for the good, but sometimes......well- you wonder.  

The house is a mess, the children are a mess, your emotions are a ticking time bomb and your marriage is a real piece of work.  And this is supposed to come together?  

And yet,  I invite you to look back over the past few years of your life.  Do you see the many, many ways that you are better now than you were then?  Do you see how some of your past challenges have made you the person of strengh that you are now?  Both the little and the grand victories you've experienced are the foundation upon which you stand in confidence as a woman and as a mom.  

Don't doubt your current situation.  It may look really, really bad.  

But, if you hold on, even to the very last second, an incredible and surprising will be revealed.  

So, I encourage you- HOLD ON!

Check out this short video to really bring home what I'm sayin'-

 

Wasn't that incredible?!?!

I literally screamed out loud at the end!  Wow!

I never saw it coming.  I thought, oh boy, this may just be another American Idol scam.  No real talent, just wanting 15 minutes of fame, and then BAM!

Instantly God showed me, that's exactly what He is doing in the lives of those who follow Him!  He will take our lives, craft a masterpiece, but He only reveals it at the right moment.  We can look and look and look and not get it!  But when God, just like the artist, does the grand reveal- people come to their feet.  They are wowed by the glory of God in your life!  They can't help but take notice.

May God get the glory in your life today.  May He reveal Himself through you today.

Remember: God + Your Purpose + Divine Connection to Other People = A Powerful Moment, indeed.

Were you as surprised as I was at the end?

What mess has God used to make art in your life?

5 Ways to Reduce Your Grocery Bill

One of the biggest expenses for most families after housing is …. food!

 

Let’s face it.  We have to eat right?!

We can cut the entertainment budget, or shut off cable.  We can wear our old shoes just a little while longer, but every day we must eat.

So if you are looking for ways to save more money, yet still feed your family, here are 5 tips our family uses to trim the grocery bill.

 

1.     Treat meat as a condiment

My good friend Konni shared this tip with me.  I loved it the first time I heard it.  Instead of  making meat a dish by itself, add it to the dish.  Mix meat throughout the dish.  When cooking chicken, remove it from the bone and serve it shredded or in slices.

Less meat = Ka-ching!

 

2.     Use smaller serving plates

The typical dinner plate is HUGE.  Look for smaller dinner plates or even use salad plates as a dinner plate.  If you fill up a salad plate, it doesn’t feel like anything is missing.  This allows your serving sizes to shrink without feeling deprived.  Smaller servings= you can do a whole lot more with a whole lot less. 

Less food to serve = Ka-ching!

 

3.     Pretend you are running a restaurant

Set out an appetizer.  Fresh fruit.  Or cheese and crackers.  Or fresh veggies and a yummy dip.  Encourage everyone to dig in and enjoy!  During the appetizer- use this as a time of sharing, laughing, and for the little ones they can practice serving.  Allow them to serve the appetizers to the family.  (Pretend waiter or waitress) 

Having an appetizer begins to tame the hunger pains and may allow you a few extra minutes  in the kitchen if it’s been a long hard day. Appetizers allow you to serve less at the dinner meal because the family is not as hungry. 

Less food consumed = Ka-ching!

 

4.     Use what you have in your pantry before shopping.  Be creative.

Sometimes we go grocery shopping not because we don’t have food, but because we don’t have the foods we like.  Challenge yourself to see how many meals you could prepare with what you already have.  What kind of creative dishes could you come up with from the items you have on hand?

Dig deep in the freezer.  What’s hanging out in the back of the pantry?  You might be pleasantly surprised.  By not going to the store= you save money simply by not shopping. 

Staying out of the store = Ka-ching!

 

5.     Drink plenty of water BEFORE while preparing the meal. 

Dehydrations feels like hunger.  In the book, The Bodies Many Cries for Water”, Batmanghelidj shares that our bodies signals a need for water in many ways.  One way is through hunger pains.  So the next time you feel hungry, do a check-in and see if maybe you just need to drink some water. 

Only eating when you’re hungry = Ka-ching!

 

Give one or all of these a try.  Make it a personal challenge to see how much you can trim from your food budget and still feel well fed and cared for.  Make this fun!  Get your family Involved!  

 

What are some other creative ways you can think of to trim the grocery bill?

photo credit: Polycart via photopin cc

Divine To-Do List

Do you ever struggle to focus when you're trying to pray?

Ever heard the advice to have a “daily quiet time”, but inwardly you know the loudest place on earth is the thoughts in your head?

If that describes you, then we're in the same boat my friend.


For years I struggled to pray and have a "quiet time". 

I wanted to be a “good” Christian.

I would rise early, because you know the holiest believers rise early, right?!- at least that's what I thought.  So I would try to force myself to be a morning person.  I would get up early, drag myself out of bed, and tip-toe around the house trying to read the Bible by night light.  Why the night light?  Because it seemed that in my house light seems to make noise.  Noise that wakes the heaviest of sleeping children in the house. 

Or maybe it was my blinking that woke them.  I really don’t know. 

No matter how quiet I would try to be, someone would seem to hear me and come join me for MY quiet time.  M-Y attempt to be a “good” Christian.  Didn’t God see me trying to DO this?!  Ugh!

I wasted so SO much time frustrated. 

Either someone would wake up with me or if I was all alone, I would be SO tired I couldn’t tell you what I read on the page anyway.  My eyes went across the words, but nothing was sticking.

So I had a choice, get up and try to have some token of a quiet time with the Lord, or stay in the bed and feel guilty for not spending time with God?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here’s the thing…. Is it possible to NOT spend time with God? 

NO!  He is everywhere.

Our goal should not be to spend time with Him.  Uh-oh- did I lose you?  Stick with me for a minute.

We should not focus on spending time with God, He's always with us.  Our goal is to increase our awareness of Him in the everyday moments of our day. 

See Him in the face of the little one who wakes up to join you in your Bible reading.  See His provision in the morning meal you prepare each morning.  See Him in your marriage.  See Him in the grocery store.  See Him.  Recognize Him.  Acknowledge Him.

So the next time you are trying to pray and your mind wanders.  Don’t judge yourself as unfocused or off track.  See Him, even in that.

When you pray, keep a notepad beside you.  If something comes to mind, write it down.  Consider it your Divine to-do List.  A to-do list straight from Heaven itself. 

Now,  all that you do today is a divine appointment.  Whether it’s washing dirty laundry or planning the evening meal, or calling a friend that’s been on your mind.  Your daily to-do’s are Heaven sent and you are freed up to see God in any “interruptions” to YOUR plan, because God is busy setting His plan in motion.

 

How about you, do you ever struggle to have a daily quiet time?


photo credit: Visions By Vicky via photopin cc