How to Get Rid of That Sinking Feeling That You’re Forgetting Something

June 24, 2012 by 5 Comments

Ever had that feeling that you are forgetting something really important, but for the life of you, you can’t figure out what it is?

Ever had so much on your mind that you lie awake or you toss and turn, unable to get to sleep?

How about, have you needed to give someone an important message or answer and keep forgetting to tell them when you see them? Ugh, so frustrating right?!

 

 

I used to stare at the family calendar while saying out loud, “I know that there is something important coming up, but I can’t remember what it is.”  As I stare at the blank calendar and look around to see the blank looks on my children’s faces, I know neither the calendar or my children can help me.  I causally ask friends if they know of anything happening in the next few days, hoping that maybe they could provide a hint, but – nope!

It is such a helpless feeling isn’t it?  You can remember unimportant tidbits of info like the address and phone number of your old house, but no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to remember, whatever it is that you just know is important. 

There came a time when I had enough of feeling like I was losing my mind.  I would head count the children and if I reached the right number, I resolved everything must be okay. 

In order to stop that sinking feeling that something or someone might be forgotten, I have found a solution that has calmed my mind.  It has actually helped me to sleep better and be more with-it!  If you could use better sleep too, allow me to share.

3 steps  to keep your sanity

  1. Grab a blank journal

  2. Dedicate the journal for the sole purpose of saving your sanity.  This is not the place for doodling when the children are bored in a waiting room.  This is F.M.O.-For Mama Only

  3. Write everything down..  If it is on your mind, write it.  Don’t try to organize it, color code it, or use special symbols.  No way!  Just write it all down, one item per line. 

Every night I sit on the side of the bed and do a brain dump.  Anything that just might weasel it’s way into my thoughts at 1am and disturb my sleep, gets written down.  Throughout the day if a friend shares a great book title, I hear about a show coming to town, my child mentions a gift suggestion for their birthday.  All of these things are written down in my journal.

Get in the habit of writing things down.  It is impossible to try to remember all the niggly little tidbits of information that come up every single day.  In fact, it is a recipe for disaster everytime we say, "I need to remember".  " I need to remember to call and make a dentist appointment."  "I need to remember to pick up batteries at the store"  Or even worse, "Kids, remind me to make that phone call when we get home."  Your children might do a good job of reminding you, but do you really want to rely on them to remember? 

My journal is becoming quite ragged with use, but I can’t begin to tell you the peace and calm I experience by using this simple tool.  Gone are the days that I have to waste time wondering what I forgot.  If I think there might be something, I read through my journal until I am satisfied that all is well.

 

Your turn, what do you do to save your sanity?

Filed Under: Blog, Connect to Purpose, Home Manager Tips Tagged With: ,

Making Powerful Choices

March 28, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Choices.

An abundance of choices.

Typically we break-down our choices into two categories, good or bad. I propose that we add another category- Best!

Not all decisions can fit so nicely between good or bad. Sometimes it is not so obvious which category to place an idea, an opportunity, or a relationship. By adding another category we are freed from the limits of A = good or B = bad. Our new liberating and powerful third choice is best.

My husband has a saying – “Good is the enemy of the best.” It is so true! We can make choices that overall are, well…good, but they are not the best. When we settle for good, we rob ourselves of the best.

The next time we experience a moment of decision where it seems that our choices are limited, when it seems that we are offered only two options from which to choose — let’s make a commitment to s-l-o-w down the process long enough to consider that there may be a third and better choice that has yet to be noticed.

Another option that snatches the lid off of the limits before you, and gives you some breathing room. A different conclusion that clarifies the decision making process so that you can make a solid choice.

4 Steps to Arrive at the B.E.S.T. Option:

B- Benefit 

Ask yourself who benefits from this decision? Who will this serve? Who will this help? Who should we consider the most in this decision?

E- Evident

Is all the information that I need to make a quality decision evident? Are my options plain and clear?

S- Sincere

Can I make this decision with sincerity in my heart? Will I have feelings of resentment, angst, or even anger towards others after giving my answer?

T- True

Am I making this decision based on what is true? Will my decision be based on what is real?

Let us make a commitment to no longer limit ourselves to making choices solely between good or bad, but add another category- BEST.

 
Filed Under: Blog, Connect to Others, Connect to Purpose, Home Manager Tips Tagged With: , , , ,

5 Questions to Ask When Your Children Simply Won’t Listen

March 28, 2012 by 2 Comments

What can you do when your child won’t do what you ask? 

Try asking yourself the following questions:

1. Do they know what to do?

Does your child understand what you are asking them to do? Are the steps to completing the task clear?

2. Do they know how to do it?

Sometimes as adult things we ask our children to do seem so simple. It is simple to us, we have done these things hundreds of times. But for our children, everything in their world is new. We must take more time than we think necessary to ensure that they know everything they need to know to succeed at what we are asking them.

3. Do THEY believe they can do it?

Do they have the confidence they need? They may know what to do. They may know how to do it. But if they don’t believe they can do it, they won’t do it!

I remember my mom shared the story of teaching me to ride my bike. My older brother took it upon himself to teach me. He would run up and down the street steadying my bike as I pedaled. Eventually, he could tell that I had the hang of things and he let go. I was fine until I realized that he let go and BAM, down I would go every time. I knew what to do. I knew how to it, but I didn’t believe I could do it without him. That was an issue of confidence, not knowledge.

So when faced with a lack of confidence, no amount of information will answer that doubt.

4. Are they motivated? Do you have buy-in? (trust is a big component)

It is the role of the manager to provide proper motivation when a task needs to be completed. Without motivation all of the know-how and confidence is nullified.It is most helpful to take a step back and determine whether they trust in what you are asking.  Do they have doubts about your solution?  Are there some questions in their mind concerning your motivation or reasoning?

5. How can I lead them?

Keep it positive. The manager must look for ways to inspire their team to follow them. Look for ways to tap into the internal motivators of your team. The things that set their feet on the path to action.

 
Filed Under: Blog, Connect to Your Kids, Home Manager Tips Tagged With:

How Much Do We Really Need?

March 26, 2012 by 3 Comments

Tolstoy’s tale entitled “How Much Land Does A Man Need?”  introduces a peasant named Pahom.  Pahom suffers from a common heart condition, discontentment.  Throughout the story he becomes consumed with the desire to expand, grow, and increase. He wants to grow his business.  He want to increase his fortune.  He wants. He wants. He wants.

Each time he grows his business, he become discontent and again pursues further expansion.

One day Pahom learns of an opportunity he could not resist. He can have more land than he ever imagined.  All he had to do was walk and claim the land in just one day. 

And the price? Well worth it, he reasoned. If only……. Oh, how this story rings true in the world today. The never ending quest for more is an unquenchable thirst. No matter how much you acquire there is always…..more!

How often does “enough” seem to elude your very best efforts to acquire “it”.

You know "it":

the bigger house

the nicer car

the higher income

the coolest, newest gadget

The bigger house promises more space, bigger yard, beautiful amenities. The new car will make you look good, and make your children feel cool. The higher income will finally afford you the things you deserve! The newest, coolest gadget is just……COOL!

The Desires of Our Hearts

It is so easy to confuse the desire of our eyes and declare them the desires of our hearts. God promised to give us the desires of our hearts.

Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Psalm 37:4

It is easy to confuse the cravings of our eyes, with the deepest needs of our hearts. We begin to reason that the material can satisfy the intangible. That the physical can fill the emotional. The root of our discontent is not ultimately met in any of the promises of this world.

We know that, don’t we? Yet, it is still such an easy trap. We work harder. We stay up later. We borrow more. Yet, it still doesn’t satisfy. The pursuit of “more” has a high cost.

So…. how much land did Pahom need?  

The short answer- 6ft, from head to toe.

Filed Under: Blog, Book Recommendations, Connect to Purpose Tagged With: ,

2 Ways to Increase Motivation

March 25, 2012 by 3 Comments

Looking for some help in the motivation department?

Do you have some things you need to do, but can’t seem to find the motivation to do them?

Have you put off some things on your to-do list for way too long?

I want to share a solution that is working for me. But beware, only do this if you mean business. These instructions are only for those who are sick and tired of their own excuses.

If you mean business and are done making excuses, then I have a solution for you.

Method A

  • Write a check for $50, $100, or $1,000, some dollar amount that creates incentive for you.
  • Make it out to a local charity.
  • Give the check to a friend with instructions to mail it if you do not complete your goal.

Need more incentive to get moving?

Method B

  • Set a goal.
  • Tell someone close to you. This really works well if you have children.
  • Make a promise involving them,  that will be received when you meet your goal.

For example. Let’s say you have a goal to start a regular exercise routine. Tell your children. “Hey kids, I am going to start walking every evening for 20 minutes. If I do this successfully for 3 weeks, I will treat you guys to the movie of your choice.” Imagine the incentive your children have to make sure that you go walking. Picture yourself trying to lounge in your favorite chair with live-in personal coaches on the job. Ain’t gonna happen.

By involving your team, you have eliminated one of your first barriers to reaching any goal – quitting early. When you involve someone else in your goal. When you give another person a stake in your success, you drastically up your chances at succeeding.

If you are serious about making goals and completing them, put yourself at risk. Write a check for an amount that is beyond your comfort zone. Make a promise to someone you would never want to let down. Tell the world what you are attempting to do. And get to it!

My Recent Goal

Recently I set a goal for myself. I had only 14 days to complete it. I placed this goal in a prominent place in our home. I committed to it in front of all of my children. And I put myself at risk. If I did not complete my goal, I was going to run a 5K.

Now, what you must understand is, I DO NOT like to run. In my eyes the only good reason to run is if something is chasing you. A vicious dog or something like that. But to get up early on a perfectly good lazy Saturday morning. Pay my hard earned money. And then have to run a 5K? This is not my idea of fun. It is more akin to torture for me. So when I told my children that I would run a 5K, their eyes told me everything I needed to know. They knew momma was serious. Well today is my day 14. Did I make my goal? You bet!!! You will not see me at the next 5K race. But to all you runners out there, I am applauding you from under my covers. Now it’s your turn.

  • Make a goal
  • Tell someone
  • Put yourself at risk
  • Make a grand promise
  • Get to work
  • Achieve success
  • Share your goal and your risk here.

I can’t wait to hear about your success, because success in itself is – A Powerful Moment!

 
Filed Under: Blog, Connect to Purpose, Home Manager Tips Tagged With: ,

4 Things We Can NOT Change

March 23, 2012 by 2 Comments

It is hard for us to accept that there are some things that we can not change. This is especially hard for those of us who believe that if we work hard enough, plan well enough, and pray long enough that certainly things will be different.

At times, this proves to be true. However, there are other times that no matter how hard you work, how much you plan, and how fervently you pray, things will NOT change.

Just what are those things we can’t change? – I know there are skeptics out there who are thinking – we’ll just see about that! So here’s the list:

  1. The day that you were born
  2. The family you were born into
  3. The number of days you will live
  4. The number of hours in a day

Each one of these facts imposes certain limits on each us, while at the same time opens up a world of opportunities.

The time in which we were born

We live in a time where things are happening that previous generations could never have imagined. The possibilities that we consider on any given day were not even imaginable in the past.

Our children take for granted things that we would consider privileges. While we, the parents, label conveniences as needs that our parents would without question classify as luxuries. All of this can be attributed to the time in which we were born.

The family into which we were born

The family we were born into may or may not be what we would have chosen, but is ripe with connections to God, to our purpose, and to others. We would have possibly crafted things differently – a larger family, or smaller family, or any number of others specifics, but what you were given is the perfect preparation for your future.

Notice I did not say that your family was perfect or that certain situations that you experienced were perfect. But I would like to suggest that your imperfect family was part of a perfect plan. To believe anything else would mean that your past was a mistake.

The number of days we will live

I know there are those in the health field who would take issue with #3. If we eat right, exercise, drink the purest of water, take the right supplements, etc., we will live longer. I would like to suggest that we are NOT going to live any longer. We are already going to live forever, but that is not what I am addressing here. We will not physically live any longer than God has preset for us to live.

Now, the real issue is how we will live those days. The choice is in our hands. We can experience health, vitality, and vigor for our numbered days. I believe that!

But that is HOW we live, not how long.

The number of hours in a day

We have 24 hours. That’s it! We have a privilege and responsibility with each one of those hours. Our time can be spent well, or it can be wasted, the choice is ours.

For the most part our days will be a mixture of both, time well spent and time wasted. Let’s be proactive about tipping the scale to time well spent far outweighing total time wasted.

We want to make our lives count. We want to impact the lives of others. We want to empower those around us. None of that is possible, until we accept our limits!

Filed Under: Blog, Connect to God, Connect to Purpose Tagged With: , ,

Question : Statement

March 10, 2012 by Leave a Comment

I was first introduced to the idea of the question:statement ratio from Jim Collins, author of Good to Great and several other successful business books. This key leadership principle applies to leadership both in business and in the home. 

Collins reminds leadership that they have a responsibility to constantly gather information.  Regularly seeking input equips those charge.  Asking questions empowers the team.  Instead of  the passive stance of listening, the team is active, participating, and engaged.

  • What does the team need from me?
  • What is working?
  • What is not working?
  • How could we do things better?

Am I a Leader?

 You may be thinking, hey I am not a leader. I don’t have a business or a team.

Maybe you do; you just never thought of them in that way.

Who are the people you influence in any given day?

Who are the people that ask for your advice, opinion, or insight?

When someone needs help, do they call you?

Then you my friend, are a leader.

Do you have people with whom you interact daily to achieve a common goal?

Do you have a core group that enables you to succeed?

Do you have a group that you are responsible for equipping to help them succeed?

Then you have a team.

As a leader, it is imperative to constantly be gathering information. Constantly checking in with your team. Not so that you can do all of the talking. While you are not to remain silent, you want to keep a check on the number of statements you make in relation to questions.

If you find that you are talking more than listening, that is a clue that your ratios are off. If you notice that your voice is the only one you hear, it’s time to ask a question. A powerful moment awaits the leader who is willing to ask questions and limit their statements.

Filed Under: Blog, Connect to Others, Connect to Your Kids, Home Manager Tips Tagged With: , ,
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