5 Questions to Ask When Your Children Simply Won’t Listen

What can you do when your child won’t do what you ask? 

Try asking yourself the following questions:

1. Do they know what to do?

Does your child understand what you are asking them to do? Are the steps to completing the task clear?

2. Do they know how to do it?

Sometimes as adult things we ask our children to do seem so simple. It is simple to us, we have done these things hundreds of times. But for our children, everything in their world is new. We must take more time than we think necessary to ensure that they know everything they need to know to succeed at what we are asking them.

3. Do THEY believe they can do it?

Do they have the confidence they need? They may know what to do. They may know how to do it. But if they don’t believe they can do it, they won’t do it!

I remember my mom shared the story of teaching me to ride my bike. My older brother took it upon himself to teach me. He would run up and down the street steadying my bike as I pedaled. Eventually, he could tell that I had the hang of things and he let go. I was fine until I realized that he let go and BAM, down I would go every time. I knew what to do. I knew how to it, but I didn’t believe I could do it without him. That was an issue of confidence, not knowledge.

So when faced with a lack of confidence, no amount of information will answer that doubt.

4. Are they motivated? Do you have buy-in? (trust is a big component)

It is the role of the manager to provide proper motivation when a task needs to be completed. Without motivation all of the know-how and confidence is nullified.It is most helpful to take a step back and determine whether they trust in what you are asking.  Do they have doubts about your solution?  Are there some questions in their mind concerning your motivation or reasoning?

5. How can I lead them?

Keep it positive. The manager must look for ways to inspire their team to follow them. Look for ways to tap into the internal motivators of your team. The things that set their feet on the path to action.



  1. Patrickandmissie says:

    number 4 is good.  sometimes this may look like disobedience, but if they don’t understand or buy it….???

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