Victory music!

August 5, 2012 by 5 Comments

2 Things you should know about me:

1. I love to laugh

2 I love to dance

I wanted to share with you one of my victory songs.  One of  those songs that makes you want to get up and s-h-o-u-t!  Any of my conservative friends reading this might not know what I'm talking about, so let me try to explain.  When I was growing up in the church, when the music got good to you or when the preachin'- yes preachin' no 'g" on the end.  When the preachin' got good to you- you let loose with shouting and dancing.  It was your way of trying your best to express your appreciation for the goodness of God in your life.  If you have ever been to a football game or professional sports event and you have seen the fans dancing and clapping and shouting to express their appreciation for the game or the team- same deal!

Well in my life I have many songs, but there's one song that I can't be still when I play it!

I double-dog dare you to be still while listening to this song, 'cause the music is just that good.

But beyond the music and most importantly are the lyrics.  I purposely chose a version with the lyrics so you can read along as the song plays.  If you want to, get up and dance, I do. 

This is the song I play when I over come laziness and do my work out.  This is the song I play when I feel fear trying to stop me, but I press on and trust God.  This is the song I play when it's time to shake off complacency and get about God's business.

C'mon dance with me. click to watch the video!

 

You were tapping your toes weren't you?
The one part- I'm ready, are you ready, then get up and live- right now!

Do you have a victory song?

I would love to hear it!

Filed Under: Blog, Connect to God, Connect to Purpose

It’s time to pull the weeds?

July 30, 2012 by Leave a Comment

 

I had an agenda.  I planned to feed everyone breakfast and then head outside to pull some weeds from the flower beds around the front of our house.  We had allowed to yard to get a little out of control and it was time to whip it back into shape.

As we finished breakfast though, I sensed there was something going on with my oldest children.  I couldn’t put my finger on it, but things were not right.  I asked them what was up, but their answers were- Nothin’

Not satisfied with that answer I asked again in a slightly different way.  I asked- “Is anyone feeling frustrated by someone or something?”  Anyone wish they could put on some boxing gloves and go coco loco and then you would feel all better?”  That did it.  First one daughter mentioned she was irritated with one of her sisters.  Then another sister mentioned she too was bothered.

We talked about the root of their frustrations.  We brainstormed ways to communicate with one another to prevent misunderstandings and hard feelings.  They even came up with a strategy to lessen their frustration with one another.  Later I got the chance to hear how I sometimes contribute to their issues and how I could better serve them.

By the time we finished our long conversation I realized that the plan to pull weeds had a deeper meaning than I realized.  I thought the plan was to pull weeds in the yard, but the plan was to pull them first out of our hearts.

 

What weeds have taken root at your home?
Is it time to pull them up?

Filed Under: Connect to God, Connect to Others, Connect to Your Kids

This May Be The Real Reason You Feel Grumpy and Tired

July 8, 2012 by 2 Comments

As manager of our homes, we have many tasks to complete on any given day.  However, work grinds to a halt if our attitude is off.  When we are irritated or feeling frustrated it is next to impossible to complete even the simplest of tasks.  If that describes you, I want to share a few things that may be responsible for the way you are feeling.

 Are you doing for others what they can do for themselves?

For some reason, maybe it's habit, we continue to do things for our children that they can absolutely do for themselves.  We spend our precious energy running around doing what could easily be done by themselves.  Be on guard for areas where you continue to work, because your children will let you.

Are you making your children too dependent on you?

If your children must come to you before they can complete their responsibilities, then you have made them too dependent on you.  Put systems in place so that your family has the ability to execute without the added step of coming to you and waiting for you to assist them.  If you find yourself unable to complete your responsibilities because you are busy assisting members of the family, it is time to analyze where you can liberate them.

Are you hurting rather than a helping the situation?

Sometimes as a mom, and manager of the home, your attempts to help fail.  Maybe you attempt to speed up a process only to confuse the situation.  Maybe you step in too soon, when resolution of the issue was just about to happen.  Instead of trying to rescue your family from a situation, observe from a distance.  When the time is right, then step in, but not too soon.

All three of these are examples of patterns that deplete our power and weaken our influence.  Create a powerful moment as a mom and a manager by believing that your family is capable. Equip them to succeed with you and without you.  Grow comfortable in waiting patiently for them to ask for your help.

When a mom breaks the cycle that leads to feeling grumpy and tired- that my friends, is a powerful moment!

Your turn, how do you communicate to your family that you believe they are capable?

Filed Under: Blog, Connect to Others, Connect to Purpose, Connect to Your Kids, Home Manager Tips

The Single Most Important Part of Any Decision

July 2, 2012 by 2 Comments

Ever have a big decision to make,

but you felt stuck?

Some have affectionately called it analysis paralysis.  It's when you list out all of the pros and cons, hoping that the next move will become clear, but it doesn’t.  It seems that no matter how much information you gather,  the decision is never gets crystal clear.  In fact, the opposite seems to happen,  the more information you put on the table the harder the decision gets.

So what if you and I are going about this in the wrong way?  Maybe our approach is flawed. Perhaps our process to make a decision is actually keeping us from the very thing we want, a confident decision.  A decision that when you look back, you can say, "You know, everything didn't go as I planned, but I still made the best choice."

So what is the most important part of any decision that we often overlook?  People.

Great decisions are all about one thing, WHO not what.

The single most important factor in any decision you make is to focus on WHO and not WHAT.

The tendency is to focus on what needs to happen, when will it happen, and how will happen.  Your pro/con list is probably filled with an almost 100% focus on what, when, where, and how, but the single key factor is really who!  If you get the who part right, the rest of the issues will fall into place.

Allow me to illustrate how this played out in my family just recently.  We decided to take a family vacation.  Immediately there were all kinds of suggestions on where we should, what we should do, how we should get there.  Drive? Fly? (Uhm- quick answer-NO)  My husband of course wants to know how much is this all going to cost.  You get the idea.

My head began to spin with all of the questions, the details, the possibilities.  Suddenly,  this vacation idea was not so thrilling.  I needed something to clear the indecision fog, because I was stuck.   I shifted my focus from where, what, how, and how much, and instead focused on who.  Almost immediately all of the other questions were answered.  Let me show you a brief glimpse of my process.

Who is going on the trip?

Our trip included 2 sets of grandparents, 2 great-grandparents, my husband and I, and our 7 children ages 15-2.

Who has special needs on the trip? Medical, physical, etc.

Of course the grandparents need to be considered if any of our plans involve lots of walking, hiking, or some other physically demanding activity.  But also my daughters are gluten-free.  We need to be able to accommodate their diet by cooking daily or traveling to cities with plenty of options for them to eat.

Overall "who" considerations:

15 people total including:

4 senior citizens

1  child in diapers

2 children who need steady access to gluten free foods,

Our final decision was to go to the beach. We could get there in about 5 hours.  We rented two condos, right across the street from one another.  The grandparents have ground floor access to their condo, so no stairs to worry about.  We have two kitchens, so less need to eat out, and less concern of wheat allergies.  Those who want adventure can do it, and those who want to just relax- that would be me, can just relax.

Everyone is excited about our plan. I believe it all came together because we focused on people first.  Once the people part was in place, all the other decisions just fit.

I hope that as you make your next decision, whether it's travel or more mundane like what's for dinner,  remember to focus on who first.  Define the key people in your decision.  Who is involved? Who is most affected?  Who is best served?  Start there.  I think you will find that all the other pieces will begin to fall into place from there.

Your turn - What decision do you need to make? 

Will a focus on WHO make a difference?

Filed Under: Blog, Connect to Others, Connect to Purpose, Home Manager Tips Tagged With:

How to Get Rid of That Sinking Feeling That You’re Forgetting Something

June 24, 2012 by 5 Comments

Ever had that feeling that you are forgetting something really important, but for the life of you, you can’t figure out what it is?

Ever had so much on your mind that you lie awake or you toss and turn, unable to get to sleep?

How about, have you needed to give someone an important message or answer and keep forgetting to tell them when you see them? Ugh, so frustrating right?!

 

 

I used to stare at the family calendar while saying out loud, “I know that there is something important coming up, but I can’t remember what it is.”  As I stare at the blank calendar and look around to see the blank looks on my children’s faces, I know neither the calendar or my children can help me.  I causally ask friends if they know of anything happening in the next few days, hoping that maybe they could provide a hint, but – nope!

It is such a helpless feeling isn’t it?  You can remember unimportant tidbits of info like the address and phone number of your old house, but no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to remember, whatever it is that you just know is important. 

There came a time when I had enough of feeling like I was losing my mind.  I would head count the children and if I reached the right number, I resolved everything must be okay. 

In order to stop that sinking feeling that something or someone might be forgotten, I have found a solution that has calmed my mind.  It has actually helped me to sleep better and be more with-it!  If you could use better sleep too, allow me to share.

3 steps  to keep your sanity

  1. Grab a blank journal

  2. Dedicate the journal for the sole purpose of saving your sanity.  This is not the place for doodling when the children are bored in a waiting room.  This is F.M.O.-For Mama Only

  3. Write everything down..  If it is on your mind, write it.  Don’t try to organize it, color code it, or use special symbols.  No way!  Just write it all down, one item per line. 

Every night I sit on the side of the bed and do a brain dump.  Anything that just might weasel it’s way into my thoughts at 1am and disturb my sleep, gets written down.  Throughout the day if a friend shares a great book title, I hear about a show coming to town, my child mentions a gift suggestion for their birthday.  All of these things are written down in my journal.

Get in the habit of writing things down.  It is impossible to try to remember all the niggly little tidbits of information that come up every single day.  In fact, it is a recipe for disaster everytime we say, "I need to remember".  " I need to remember to call and make a dentist appointment."  "I need to remember to pick up batteries at the store"  Or even worse, "Kids, remind me to make that phone call when we get home."  Your children might do a good job of reminding you, but do you really want to rely on them to remember? 

My journal is becoming quite ragged with use, but I can’t begin to tell you the peace and calm I experience by using this simple tool.  Gone are the days that I have to waste time wondering what I forgot.  If I think there might be something, I read through my journal until I am satisfied that all is well.

 

Your turn, what do you do to save your sanity?

Filed Under: Blog, Connect to Purpose, Home Manager Tips Tagged With: ,

Making Powerful Choices

March 28, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Choices.

An abundance of choices.

Typically we break-down our choices into two categories, good or bad. I propose that we add another category- Best!

Not all decisions can fit so nicely between good or bad. Sometimes it is not so obvious which category to place an idea, an opportunity, or a relationship. By adding another category we are freed from the limits of A = good or B = bad. Our new liberating and powerful third choice is best.

My husband has a saying – “Good is the enemy of the best.” It is so true! We can make choices that overall are, well…good, but they are not the best. When we settle for good, we rob ourselves of the best.

The next time we experience a moment of decision where it seems that our choices are limited, when it seems that we are offered only two options from which to choose — let’s make a commitment to s-l-o-w down the process long enough to consider that there may be a third and better choice that has yet to be noticed.

Another option that snatches the lid off of the limits before you, and gives you some breathing room. A different conclusion that clarifies the decision making process so that you can make a solid choice.

4 Steps to Arrive at the B.E.S.T. Option:

B- Benefit 

Ask yourself who benefits from this decision? Who will this serve? Who will this help? Who should we consider the most in this decision?

E- Evident

Is all the information that I need to make a quality decision evident? Are my options plain and clear?

S- Sincere

Can I make this decision with sincerity in my heart? Will I have feelings of resentment, angst, or even anger towards others after giving my answer?

T- True

Am I making this decision based on what is true? Will my decision be based on what is real?

Let us make a commitment to no longer limit ourselves to making choices solely between good or bad, but add another category- BEST.

 
Filed Under: Blog, Connect to Others, Connect to Purpose, Home Manager Tips Tagged With: , , , ,
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